There’s a saying I often hold close: What you are not changing, you are choosing. It’s a reminder that life isn’t just something that happens to us; it’s something we participate in, actively or passively. People sometimes believe they’ve been dealt a bad hand, and that life’s hurdles are simply unavoidable. But in my experience, this perspective limits our potential and undermines the strength we have to shape our circumstances.
In everything from motherhood to career and wellness, we’re often presented with moments where we either lean into change or surrender to stagnation. The choices aren’t always easy—they can even feel downright impossible at times—but small shifts, made consciously, have an incredible way of turning into real transformations.
The Subtle Choice in Relationships
Relationships are such a rich part of our lives, but they’re also challenging. The comfort of familiarity can sometimes trap us in dynamics that aren’t nourishing. Choosing change doesn’t always mean letting go of people; it might mean reimagining how we connect with them. A small adjustment, like sharing an honest feeling or setting a boundary, can create space for a relationship to evolve into something more fulfilling.
And while it’s difficult to take those steps, staying where we are can be just as challenging. It’s helpful to remember that not changing is still a choice—a choice to accept things as they are. Sometimes, choosing to change a relationship, even in the smallest ways, is a powerful act of love for ourselves and the people around us.
Finances: Shifting from Scarcity to Abundance
Money is such a loaded topic for so many of us, often wrapped up in inherited beliefs and fears. Many people feel stuck in their financial situations, feeling as if their goals are too far out of reach. But over time, I’ve come to see that by changing even one habit or belief, like focusing on budgeting, saving, or even exploring income opportunities, we invite abundance in place of scarcity.
This doesn’t mean we need to change everything overnight. Instead, it’s about choosing to start somewhere, however small. By not challenging our existing beliefs or habits, we might be choosing to stay in that familiar scarcity mindset. It’s a choice, one we’re empowered to shift if we’re ready.
Health and Wellness: A Collection of Tiny Choices
In the whirlwind of motherhood and career demands, prioritizing health often falls to the wayside. But I’ve learned, especially through my commitment to Pilates, that wellness is built on a collection of small choices, repeated consistently. Choosing to move our bodies, nourish ourselves with wholesome food, and protect our rest is how we take back control over our physical and mental well-being.
Without these intentional choices, it’s easy to feel disconnected, overwhelmed, or exhausted. But by seeing each small health decision as a positive change, we become more attuned to the power we hold in shaping our health and well-being.
Business and Career: Choosing Growth, Not Comfort
In business, much like in motherhood, we’re constantly faced with decisions about where we’re headed. Growth requires stepping out of the comfort zone, tackling the unfamiliar, and letting go of methods that may no longer serve our purpose. At the same time, choosing to challenge ourselves means we’re not simply sticking with “what works” but are opening ourselves to the possibility of something better, something meaningful.
Each step outside of our comfort zone might feel like a leap, but by choosing to grow, we actively participate in shaping our career journeys.
Change as a Gentle Act of Self-Compassion
Choosing change is an act of self-compassion. It means acknowledging where we are, recognizing our strengths and limitations, and still opting to move forward in whatever ways we can. Change doesn’t have to be a monumental shift; often, it’s the accumulation of gentle, consistent choices that moves us toward the lives we envision.
The truth is, we may not always have control over life’s challenges, but we do have the power to shape our responses. When we remember that what we are not changing, we are choosing, we reclaim our agency in this journey. Life might not always hand us the cards we want, but we have more say in how we play them than we may realize.
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